Tech Support
by BroadwayFanGirl91
Summary: Humanized. Marlin and Dory are having troubles with their computer so they call Tech Support... bad idea.


**Okay, me, my sis and BFF played out something like this because... just because. And after reading 'Punzie the Platypus's story for 'UP' (totally recommend that story to everyone) I got inspired to write this little story. Goes out to the two people who are crazy like me. XD And everyone else who likes to read, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer****: Ugh, for the last time I DO NOT own Finding Nemo!**

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><p>"Darn it! Why won't it work?"<p>

Marlin rammed his fist on the keyboard of his computer and sighed. Ever since he purchased this computer, it has given him nothing but trouble. First it would flicker on and off, then it would shut down unexpectedly and now it won't come on at all.

He tried once again to turn the computer on, but nothing happened.

He groaned, "Come on already you stupid piece of junk!"

"Marlin screaming your head off the computer will not make it work."

Marlin turned to se his wife Dory, who was watching him with amusement.

"I know, but this thing is definitely not worth the hundreds of dollars I spent on it."

"I told you that you should've gotten a MacBook instead of Windows. Look we can return it and-"

"No! No way, I am going to make this thing work."

Dory crossed her arms, "Oh really? And how do you plan on doing that?"

Marlin thought for a moment, "I am… going to call Tech Support and make them fix it for me."

Dory sighed, "Honey, Tech Support for computers are sometimes located in India or something. They're not going to come all the way across sea to fix it. Even then, how are you going to reach them?"

"I'm going to start by using the phone and see where that takes me."

Dory waved up her hands and turned away, "Okay fine… I still think MacBook's are the way to go though…"

Marlin rolled his eyes as he picked up he phone. He checked over the computer's manual until he found the Tech Support's number. Once he found it he plunked the series of numbers on his phone and listened to it ring.

On the fifth or so ring, a man with a deep Indian voice answered,

"Ello dis iz Mamoo Hadi, how can I help you today?"

"Yes I'm having a problem getting my computer started." Marlin answered, "Could you help me?"

"Oh yes, I vill help in anyvay I can. First iz your computer plugged in? Dis iz common mistake that you Americans can make."

"Yes it is plugged in."

"Are you sure? Did you check?"

Marlin sighed and looked behind the desk, "Yes… the plug is definitely plugged into the wall."

"Oh very good, very good… now iz de computer on? Dis iz also common mistake."

"See that's the problem, it won't come on."

"Did you try pressing the on button? Some people forget to because zey are dummies."

Marlin pressed the button twice, "Okay nothing happened…"

"Okay iz zee screen on? Dis iz a big problem that most people have. Zey forget to turn on their monitor before working."

Marlin pressed the monitor button and the screen came up blue, "Okay it's on… but the moniter is blue."

"Oh, dat iz good newz. Iz there anything else zat I may help you with today?"

"Well yeah, the screen is blue… how can I make it go away?"

"Hm… well I can give you keyword zat will help you get rid of blue screen."

"Oh that would be great…"

"Okayz, hold on," there was a rustle of papers on the other line, "coupons… wedding invitations… ah, here it iz, code words. Are you ready, sir?"

"Yes I am…"

"Okay press M… ze number two… ze number 5… ze number 9… K… P… L… ze number six… ze number seven… H… R… and F."

Marlin pressed all of those keys and the whole computer shut down, "What the- the computer shut off again!"

"Oh no… well, iz ze computer plugged in? Dis iz common mistake zat you stupid Americans make."

"We've been over this, yes it is plugged in."

"Are you sure? Did you check?"

"…"

"Ello? Are you still there?"

Marlin gripped the phone tightly and spoke through gritted teeth, "Yes I am still here."

"Okay good, I would like you to call ze following number and tell ze man you talked to that Mamoo Hadi did good work for you. If you zay that, I will be very rich and have plenty of wives."

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT? YOU WERE NO HELP AT ALL!"

"Oh sir, please do not yell at-"

Marlin hit the 'End' button on his phone and placed it down.

The phone rang and Marlin picked it up, "Hello?"

"I didn't give you ze number, sir. Please hold on while I get it-"

Marlin hit 'End' again, and didn't answer it when it rang once again. That was the last time HE ever called Tech Support.

"So how'd it go?"

Marlin turned to see Dory leaning against the doorway, a grin was written on her face. Marlin sighed, "You were right, I should have just spent the extra money to buy a MacBook."

Dory smiled, "You had me at 'you were right', but seriously, Tech Support couldn't help you at all?"

"No the guy on the phone was… weird and unhelpful. I'm not calling them up ever again."

"That's because you have no patience, here let me try, I bet that I can get them to help me out."

Marlin raised an eyebrow, "I hardly doubt that they will…"

Dory rolled her eyes, "You underestimate my wonders of feminism, here give the phone."

Marlin handed her the phone and watched as she hit redial on it. Dory listened to it ring seven times before someone answered,

"Ello dis iz Mamoo Hadi, how can I help you today?"

"Yes hi, I was wondering if you would help me fix my computer? I can't seem to turn it on."

"Oh, certainly first off iz it plugged in? Dis iz common mistake that you people can make."

"Yes, yes it's plugged in."

"Are you sure now? Did you check?"

"I don't need to check, I know for a fact that it is on."

"Oh, ze fact you know could be wrong. Now check to see if ze computer is plugged in."

Dory rolled her eyes and looked behind the desk, "Yes, it is plugged in. Now what?"

"That's good, now iz it turned on? Dis iz also mistake that you stupid people make."

"Hey! Who are you calling stupid, stupid?"

"Eh… you?"

"Is that anyway to treat a customer? Especially a lady?"

"You are a lady? Oh, dis iz great! How would you like to come to India and be Mamoo Hadis wife?"

Dory's mouth dropped and Marlin stifled back a laugh.

"Excuse me?" Dory spoke,

"Oh, you are speechless! I am pleased; you will make a very good trophy wife. And ve vill have lots of little babies."

"I'm already married, thank you very much."

"Just dump the dummy, he can't give you everything that I can. I am a very, very rich man, you know."

"Who is your supervisor? I would like to have a word with him right now!"

"Oh, Mamoo Hadi's supervisor is Mamoo Hadi."

"… You're your own supervisor?"

"Yes, are you impressed yet?"

"No I am not."

"Oh, vell what do you say then, Sweet Sugar? Vill you come to India and make Mamoo Hadi very, very happy?"

"…"

"Ello?"

"…"

"Ma'am?"

Marlin took the phone from his wife's trembling hand and held it up to his ear,

"Hello? Yes my wife is pretty angry right now so-"

"Oh, so you're the dummy, huh? Well I think that she iz more interested in me now."

"If you mean she's interested in hurting you, then yes you're right. And I think I'm going to hang up now."

"Wait I-"

Marlin hung up the phone and grinned up at Dory, "I lasted a whole extra thirty seconds without flipping my lid, so I think that I win."

Dory took in a deep breath, "Okay, whatever just… let's never call that number… ever again!"

"Deal, and I think I'm going to trade in this piece of junk for something different."

"May I suggest a typewriter? At least they don't require a plug or anything…"

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><p><strong>That's that then... lol. I was thinking of doing one when they're having troubles with the T.V., any thoughts? Well, thanks for reading. Review?<strong>


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